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Why you’re not alone during the Coronavirus

Prince — Sat, 02 May 2020 04:14:56 +0000

So you’re pregnant and quarantined during a global pandemic. You’re feeling quite alone and isolated. This should be a time when you’re the center of your social circle, you’re connecting with friends and family, having parties and celebrating and feeling all of the love that your world has to give.

Why is it that during a time when the entire world is experiencing the same isolation do we feel alone? Strangely enough when we are in groups we often feel the most alone than ever.

TIPS TO NOT FEELING ISOLATED: BE REAL

Connect with family/friends more electronically.

The use of facetime, Duo and zoom can connect us more than ever and using these technologies during the pandemic can make us grossly aware of how often we COULD HAVE been using these prior to a global pandemic to connect with friends and family that live far away from us. The global pandemic can be a forced learning opportunity to encourage us to connect to people in our lives who we may not normally think to connect to in this way. Everyone gets distracted with work or the routine and often forgets to connect with family/friends as often as they should. Take this opportunity to connect to your grandmother, mother or aunt who may not typically use this technology but whom you can connect with on a new level even though you are physically apart.

Connect on a deeper level with those you are closest with

Oftentimes society and social media encourages us to connect with as many people as possible on a surface level but research shows that deeper connections with friends and family create more happiness. Having strong social supports is important now more than ever when you’re pregnant. You need the social support more when pregnant and once the baby is born, especially if you dont currently have a partner, your partner is in the service or you’re separated due to the coronavirus etc. Use this time as a motivator to make deep connections. Select 2-3 friends/family members whom are most important to you and that you have the best connections with on a deeper level and spend time and energy developing these relationships. Share your fears with them and be vulnerable. Being vulnerable molds deeper connections and oftentimes allows others to feel safe enough to also share their feelings with you which can create lasting bonds.

Connect with others going through similar experiences

Social media can oftentimes make us feel isolated as much as it makes us feel connected, however using social media in the right ways can connect us to social circles which we otherwise wouldn’t have access to. Join a facebook group for mothers going through similar experiences, there are many groups focused in on specific topics. If there is not a social media group for you and what you’re dealing with create one! There are enough people in the world chances are you are NOT ALONE. Helping others within a social media context can feel good and research shows it releases feel good endorphins to help others. If you improve your own mental health it improves the health of your baby.

Use this time to reconnect with yourself

Society has us running constantly, especially as mothers. If you are working, this is not your first child or you have any other competing priorities you may feel as if you don’t have any time for yourself. Being in tune with your own fears, desires and things you’re grateful for are key to being in tune with yourself. Take time for yourself to meditate on what you want, what you visualize for your family’s future, acknowledge your fears and desires and state them outloud to make them real. Feel your feelings, develop a plan of action and move on with your life. Often we don’t stop to FEEL what we are feeling. Stop… breathe… feel your feelings and label them, state them out loud and you will retake control over your life. Know thyself.

Remember that this is a global trauma we are experiencing. It is ok to not be ok. No one is really OK right now and listening to how we ourselves and those we love are feeling is important to living this new normal while not ignoring the fact that we’re living it. Next time someone asks you how you are, maybe answer truthfully instead of answering “I’m ok” or “good”, because we know the answer is much deeper.

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Tips on getting through a global pandemic

Prince — Sat, 02 May 2020 03:25:43 +0000

Our worlds have been thrown upside-down by Coronavirus. You may have more on your plate (Kids home now) or less (loss of job or less work to do at work) but either way you’re probably feeling some strange combination of feelings. Personally I’ve been feeling a homemade stew of fear, loss, and numbness with overwhelming emotion taking over at times for a little reprieve of crying spells. Currently we are all going through a trauma and where there is trauma there is difficulty with processing emotions. Unfortunately its looking like this change of life is going to keep going for a while so it’s important that we learn to live with it the best we can.

Here are some tips for each day:

Feel your feelings and grieve losses

You’ve lost a lot throughout this pandemic and its important to recognize this loss, label your emotions and allow yourself to feel them. You may have lost your job, your time alone that you previously had with a partner now that the kids are home full time. You may have lost the joy of a baby shower, sharing your birth with your partner, sharing special moments with your family like the baby kicking. No matter what you’ve lost please give yourself the space to grieve this loss.

It is ok to feel angry or sad, you are justified in your feelings. Your loss HAS been significant and its ok to take the space to grieve it.

Create your new normal

While we don’t know how long this pandemic will last its important to create your new normal. Especially if you have children at home already creating a routine and new normal can help them adapt to the change and allow them to get into a state of acceptance and feeling safe.

Oftentimes children cannot fully comprehend adult situations and creating a routine can benefit them and you. Create a family morning routine, taking time for gratitude and reflecting on love. Be present in your moments with family and don’t overdo watching the news. Watching too much news can take you away from your presence and into fear. Doing everyday things like taking a daily shower can re-set your mind back into the present and create a feeling or normalcy.

Focus on what you CAN control

While experiencing trauma it can feel like you’ve lost a sense of control and it can be easy to spiral out. You may feel like treating yourself and eating everything in sight. Keeping a handle on your health, eating healthy, sleeping enough, moving your body & staying hydrated are all still within your control. If you’re pregnant these are also all things that will benefit your baby. Keeping in mind that your baby’s health is still within your control and focusing on those thing which you can control can help you keep a sense of calm to carry on.

Take time each day for gratitude

During a pandemic it can be easy to get caught up in the doom and gloom but it can also put things into great perspective and reflect things to be grateful for. Often times there are many people who have it worse off and reflecting on having access to a home, clean water, family, these are all blessings which not everyone has. Finding what you have that others may not and reflecting and meditating on these can put you in a positive mind of gratitude that will allow you to feel love.

Challenge your negative thoughts and re-frame them

It can be easy to let your fears and negative thoughts get the best of you if you’re pregnant or have children during a global pandemic. Thoughts that you or your children are going to get sick and even die can be going through your head. Instead of allowing your mind to take control try to think of the things that you do have control over to try to prevent your family getting sick and focusing in on these.

What can you do to reduce your risk of you and your family getting sick? Can you order groceries to be delivered to the home or so curbside pickup so that you don’t have to go to the grocery store? Can you limit your exposure outside in areas you know will be busy with other people?

If you or your family does get sick, could it be just a cold, could it be that you will recover and be fine. Challenge your thoughts because typically life is not all black and white and chances are the outcome will not be worst case scenario.

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Positive Psychology and Pregnancy

Prince — Fri, 01 May 2020 14:33:05 +0000

If you google “mental health and pregnancy” you will see information on post partum depression, psychiatric disorders, substance abuse etc. It is common knowledge and well supported by the research that mental health impacts our physical health and can impact the length of gestation and development of our babies. As mothers we want nothing more than to develop healthy happy babies but asking a pregnant woman not to be stressed so that we will not negatively impact the health of our babies is like telling someone not to think about pink elephants.

Women have enough pressure on us during pregnancy, being primarily responsible for the growth of a human being is hard work and can be very intimidating. Its difficult to find any pregnancy information that is not focused on negativity in some way, warnings about this, guilt about that, ample evidence to show to us that we are not prepared.

The medical model of pregnancy which focuses on preventing, diagnosing, and treating the complications that can occur during pregnancy lends itself to a tendency to worry and stress. Seeking medical attention and expertise is important during pregnancy but the constant focus on what could go wrong obviously leaves us wondering and overanalyzing everything.

The medical model forces us to believe that we must over educate ourselves and rely on medical providers’ expertise in order to do something that our bodies were naturally made to do. This constant focus on what could go wrong leaves us feeling like we are inadequate mothers.

What are women to do to counteract all this negativity so we can move forward and be loving, confident and positive mothers throughout pregnancy and after?

Here are some tips to get you started:

Believe in your own power.

Women have been having babies forever. Every country has different models they use; some use the medical model, some more akin to doula philosophy. Regardless of which philosophy you follow, believe that pregnancy is a natural process and your body is prepared for it. Trusting in yourself and your body will relive some the stress off of you, believe me you are not completely in control anyway your body will take over and do what it needs to in order to prepare for the birth. Having faith and letting go will be good for your mental health.

Self care for your own sake.

Take care of yourself, not because you’re pregnant, not for the baby; do it for you. Know that you are strong and you are loved and anything that you do for your own health or mental health is also good for your baby. Take time to meditate, workout, watch your favorite show. Whatever your healthy self care go-to’s are do them! When we’re pregnant its easy to focus all of our time and energy on what is best for the baby but this way of thinking can lead to a lot of extra fear of not being good enough. Remember that taking care of YOU is taking care of your baby and you both deserve it.

Connect with your support system of strong women.

Being pregnant can be isolating, most likely you’re surrounded by people outpouring love to you but being able to really speak to them honestly about your fears and desires can be vulnerable and difficult. Leaning on your friends, mother, sister and really being open with them about how you’re feeling can create great connections. Being honest and open about your fears and desires can lead to getting very valuable advice from insiders within your social support network. You just may learn that they had the same fears or desires about their pregnancies and often these can be difficult to share. This can be especially helpful if you have had a previous loss. Miscarriages happen to 1 in 4 women but there is such great stigma around this that even amongst other women we rarely talk about this. It is important to label our emotions and acknowledge them if we are to move on and lead with love.

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Hello world!

Rizwan — Mon, 27 Apr 2020 00:43:38 +0000

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

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